When I think about that it blows my mind. In ways I feel like it was yesterday and in other ways it seems like forever.
6 months...
I have made it for half of a year. For some reason, that thought seems monumental. Like some major accomplishment. I have a lot going through my mind and heart today.
I went to church this morning and we started a new sermon series, "Promises"! Such an appropriate theme for my theme (New) this year. Many of the promises that I am clinging to have been promises of redemption for pain. Hope when life seems Hopeless. Beauty for the ugly things that come into our lives. It was so encouraging to have the truths, the hopes, the sure thing of the promises that God made spoken of today. What He says, He WILL do! Thankful and clinging to that hope.
We sang a new song today. And as we did, I felt like it was for me. "I Will Trust You" by Bryan and Katie Torwalt...the first words rang in my ears:
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil thing. In this life I have seen your faithfulness.
In this life I have found your grace God.
I will Trust you
All my hope is found in your love
I will trust you
My whole life is found in your love
Though my eyes cannot see every single step and my heart feels unsure again
I remember the strength of your love, O God
I remember the strength of your love, O God
I hold on to the peace that you bring.
I will Trust you
All my hope is found in your love
I will trust you
My whole life is found in your love
I will Trust you
All my hope is found in your love
I will trust you
My whole life is found in your love
And your goodness, kindness, faithfulness persist through the night
And your goodness, kindness, faithfulness persist through the night
And your goodness, kindness, faithfulness persist through the night
And your goodness, kindness, faithfulness persist through the night
I will Trust you
All my hope is found in your love
I will trust you
My whole life is found in your love
Tears stung my eyes with the beautiful truth of this song...God has been so good and kind and faithful to me through this whole process. Even when I didn't "feel" Him, I know He was there holding me and getting me through. All I need is found in Him and I am truly thankful and blessed.
We then went on to sing a song that I LOVE...a song written about Heaven and the vision Isaiah had about the throne of God. It speaks of his holiness...but as we began singing, for a moment, I felt like I joined Dave at that throne, worshiping our Jesus! Just maybe in that moment, we were there together again...tears again...
6 months...what am I feeling right now??
Joy. Joy that Dave is where he is, and his cares in this life are over. He is with Jesus.
Joy, in that I have made it!!! I have done the widow's walk for 6 months and I am ok. Honestly, I am better than ok...I am living in anticipation of what God has next for me. I am excited about my future and promises that God is going to fulfill in my life.
Love. I am wrapped in the arms of my Father. I have dear friends that I love and I know they love me. I have a church that has embraced this widow and looks out for me.
Hope...hope assured that God has plans for me and they are GOOD!!
6 months...and with God's help, I will make it each and every step of this journey. 6 months and this widow is joy filled and loved! ONLY JESUS!!!
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