I have shared about the hard year I have had this year. Many times through this year, I waited on the NEW thing...the good thing...the fun thing...the exciting thing. And it didn't seem to happen. I stood in front of our Bible study group in October and said "God is running out of time to do the NEW thing He promised, He better get busy!!"
I have shared that I have battled loneliness this year. The depth though, no one but those closest to me really knows. I know God fills the voids in our life, that He is enough. Period. But part of who I am is a help-meet. And when that other side is missing, HOW?? How do you fill that part?? How does God step in and "BE" that physical person in our life?? I think the magnitude of that void was partly due to the caretaking that Dave required. It went above and beyond the normal and it became part of who I am. I believe that one of my calls in this life is to be a Godly wife...so how does that fit in the life of a single, widowed mom?? I have battled greatly this year.
In Dec last year, I decided to join Christian Mingle again. More out of curiosity than hope. Just to see what might be out there. I did message a couple of men and even met one and developed a friendship with him. But honestly...it was HORRIFYING!!! I realized this world is full of FREAKS!!! Not the kind of pond I care to "fish" in.
I went to IHOP in July with a dear friend. Before we went, I was praying over some things specifically that I wanted God to direct in while we were there and had time in the prayer room. And He did...in every area!!! One thing that I felt he was saying was I needed to step back from that hope and get off line. When we had time in the prophetic room, that word was spoken over me. I was in a "waiting season, a season of deepening"...hmmmm....I had no idea what the next few months would hold. And it was needful that I be focused on the Lord for the journey ahead. When I got home from IHOP, I stopped my account.
I can't say that I walked those months focused and strong. Some of my loneliest days were during that period of deepening. I am sure partly due to the enemy fighting me. God was working and leading in my life and doing what needed done. And I am thankful for it.
I had no idea what was ahead though...
I knew that my subscription to Christian Mingle was expiring in early December. So, on December 1st, in a moment of nothing else to do and curiosity, I decided to log in and just see what was new on there since I last logged on. No intentions. No hopes. No plan other than log on and get back off before the account expired.
Then he sent me a smile...
"Hi, I really like your profile...want to tell me more??"
"Thanks!!! What would you like to know??"
And the rest,as they say, is history.
Yes, I have an amazing man walking life with me right now. To say things are going well would be an understatement. It's natural. It's easy. It feels so right. I can't say enough good things about this man! I am blown away (and often cry) when I am thanking God for him. We just click. Our humor is eerily the same...twisted, a little off, sarcastic...I have laughed and smiled so much this month that my face hurts! He is a total gentleman and has a deep respect for women...a respect you don't often see in this world. He is an amazing father. He is a very hard worker. He encourages me. He edifies me. He is a man of prayer...
I have a list of standards for whomever I marry. It is a 2 part list...one is a list the necessities...one is a list of wants. The wants are selfish desires that I have, bonuses from Jesus! He fits that bonus list...and fits it in an exceedingly abundantly way!!! The requirement list is yet to be seen....some I know he fits already, some require time to determine if the shoe fits...but it looks good so far! And it is so exciting!!!! And God continues to speak to me and He is saying to walk in this and enjoy what is in front of me.
To say that this man is "NEW" would win the understatement prize!!! I am LOVING this NEW adventure in my life!!!
NEW...think about that...God told me that was my word for 2014. I reflect on this year and though some of the NEW was not easy, it was worth it. As my year was winding down in October and I was walking through a HARD season, I really wondered what God would do before the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve...I had no idea the HUGE blessing headed my way. I had no idea that I would sit and reflect and be thankful for the redemption and restoration that would be possible before that moment!!!
NEW!!!
I still don't have my word for 2015...I'm sure when He reveals it, I will share it...whatever it is, I know I can count on it. He is faithful. He is good! Always.
In the hard. He is good.
In the day to day. He is good.
In the pain. He is good.
In the NEW. He is good.
In the loneliness. He is good.
In His plan. He is good.
In the doubt. He is good.
In the valley. He is good.
On the mountaintop. He is good.
Always. He is good.
NEW!!!
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