Just Me

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Take a Seat with Me

I woke up this morning thinking of the seats I would sit in today. And there was quite a variety...

The first Seat I took today was at the Department of Job and Family Services office. I sat in the exact same chair last week on my birthday and actually "aged a year" in that seat. I fought tears in that seat. I sat for 3 hours only to be told that our income was $54 too high to qualify this month. Of course if the income changed at all I could go back and report it and then maybe I could get some help. I left VERY disappointed. But, since I did not babysit this week, my income was not as high as I reported so we should be eligible. So, I sat again. But with different feelings and results! I left with money on my EBT card for March and April! Much more than I thought I would get! BUT, the best news was that our entire household qualifies for Medicaid at this point. And it goes back to the first of the month. March 1. The day Dave went to the ER! They pay for prescriptions, co-pays, EVERYTHING our insurance does not cover. This means we will have NO MORE medical bills! Everything from here on out for the next year is covered! PRAISE YOU JESUS!!! I could have danced a jig on my way out. I was thankful I sat in that seat today. Jehovah Jirah met me there.

Seat #2, My next seat I sat in, was the seat in the attorney's office. I walked in with Dave to sign his will and make his desires official. It was a sobering seat to sit in. It brought peace to my mind to know this is taken care of. But it also brought ache to my heart to watch him at this point, signing that paper. I am thankful we had a very compassionate attorney. I just sat in that same seat last week on my birthday and sobbed, sharing where we are right now. He was so understanding and you could see the compassion in his eyes. I am thankful for an attorney that handled this the way he did. 

Seat #3-The next seat was in the title department. We went in to put our vehicles in my name. Another step in preparing for the days, weeks, months, ahead. You are allowed by state law to transfer 2 vehicles upon death. We actually own 4 at this time. BUT, the Lord took care of things and all 4 are taken care of with minimal cost today. The Lord also allowed us to run into 2 people we know that reassured us of their prayers. One is one of my mom's best friends who I have known my whole life. Her husband died on Easter Sunday 4 years ago from cancer. She knows....Thank you Jesus for a sweet moment in a tough situation. 

Seat #4, We left and Dave suggested we go to Verizon to see how our contract would work when he passes away. This has been one of the things on my mind and I had actually planned on talking to them in the next few days, but I wasn't going to say anything to Dave, I was wanting more peace of mind and to make better decisions now. So we sat in the tall seat in the Verizon store together, and it was his idea. Thank you Jesus! Thankfully, upon death, I can show the death certificate and they let you out of the contract immediately. Thankful. Reassuring. I have watched all that is involved in a death. It isn't over when it is over...there is a LOT to do after the funeral. 

Seat #5-I sat in my van seat and let Dave know that I know this process is hard for him, but I am so thankful he is willing to do this for me. It is bringing such peace to my mind knowing things are set up in the simplest way they can be for me because it will not be easy!

Seat #6 was my chair at Kairos Coffee with my friends Abby and Katie. Some of our talk was serious, but more of it was light hearted and fun!  I laughed SO hard, and so much! Honestly, my face hurt when I left! What a gift! In the midst of all this craziness, hurting, aching, stress, heartache, there is a glimmer of normalcy. I got to enjoy some of my favorite things- Jesus, Friends, Coffee, Laughter, Sarcasm, More Laughter, and Love! I am so thankful for good friends! 

This was a day with enough range in emotion, that it could make you feel like you need medication! Joy and sorrow...But there is another seat and it is a seat that we all have the opportunity each and every day to sit in...it's the seat at the feet of Jesus. I don't know about you, but I sit there frequently and in many ways. I sat in it this morning when I did my quiet time. I sat there when I was at the DJFS office and did some praying. I sat in it when my thoughts drifted to what He has for my future. I sat there when I cranked up my worship music on the way home tonight from laughing with my friends...

My thoughts this morning went to "Be still and know"...I am in a place of busyness in my life. LOTS to get done and take care of...a huge load that is more than 1 person can bear for long. How do you "Be still" when you truly can't? You take those moments and wait on the Lord. His timing is good...as these thoughts are going through my head this morning, my friend sent me the following reference:

Ex 14:13&14
"Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid.
Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today.
The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

I am not in this battle alone. 
When I sit beside a hospital bed...The LORD will fight for me. 
When I sit in the attorneys office. The LORD will fight for me. 
When I sit and hold his hand in the end...The LORD will fight for me.
When I sit and am planning a funeral, The LORD will fight for me. 
When I face my future, I do not need to be afraid...The LORD will fight for me. 

I am thankful that He is with me, in every seat. Today could have been very different. I felt his presence. I had his peace. He showed up and provided. He is giving the strength to help make my future a little more bearable. Pull up a chair, and take a seat with me at the feet of Jesus!

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