Just Me

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Quite the week...

This has been an "interesting" week! It has had some very challenging, stretching moments and some very good, reassuring moments! I guess when you are walking through what we are currently walking through, that is the expected "norm". 

Sarah was on Spring Break all week, Kaitlyn and Trevor's last day was Thursday...3 kids, 2 different vacations makes things interesting as it is. I decided to take each of my kids out for a one-on-one day with mom. I know all this with Dave is taking it's toll on them and they are processing it and observing it in their own ways. And I think it is harder on them than I realize. Dave and I have been together over 8 years now. Trevor was 3, Kaitlyn was 7, and Sarah was 10...so hard to believe. Dave has been the only "dad" they have really had. I took Sarah out on Thursday, and Friday was Trevor's day. (Kaitlyn gets her day next week) I was able to talk to them both and answer some of their questions about things with Dave and just let them know they can ask questions and talk to me or other adults they trust about this. We have also had some issues with their dad this week, so that has been another tough topic for us. Thankful we have an Abba Father!  

Another "adventure" for us this week was that last Saturday, Trevor started feeling sick. I finally took him to the doctor on Wednesday and they said that he had the stomach bug. He was doing better Thursday and Friday, but at 3:00 this morning, he woke up in pain again and ended up vomiting and it smelled like sulfur. YUCK!!! I was concerned about his gall bladder. So we got up and went to the ER at Dayton Children's. They were so good to us there, worth the drive!! Poor kid had to get stuck twice for his IV, had an x-ray and an ultra sound. Everything was ok with his tests and they said he had a stomach bug and was a little dehydrated. BIG relief to this momma!!! Especially with the very busy week ahead.

Dave goes to OSU on Tuesday for what may be a pivotal day for us. He has a long day ahead with hydration, a CT Scan, labs for continuing the trial and possibly getting the drugs. He has stated that if the news is not good with this scan, he is stopping the trials. I have watched such a change in the last 30 days. I do not anticipate continuing... Hard decisions... This has stirred a lot of thinking in me lately... 

Tonight, after a long day in the ER with my very brave, mannerly boy (I was so proud of him!!!), I got news of hope! I had a "divine appointment" a few weeks ago when I met a friend for coffee and ran into one of her friends while we were there. We all sat and chatted and talked about our Jesus. She let us know she had tickets to Women of Faith this year that she purchased and she had some still available if we wanted to buy them. She messaged me on facebook about it, but I can not spend that kind of money right now with what we are facing, so I declined...but wasn't too happy about it. She messaged me tonight and someone is paying for me to attend AND paying for my hotel as well!!! The theme this year- "Believe That God Can Do Anything!" So timely with what we are facing! It is SO refreshing to have the HOPE of something so good in the future. I already anticipate it being a life changing event! God is going to show up and speak to my heart! I know it! THANK YOU to whomever has blessed me with this gift!!! 

It is Easter weekend. I love being on Facebook this weekend...so much focus on Christ's sacrifice, his love, and resurrection. It stirs a lot of thinking in me...I am in no way comparing what we are going through to what Christ did for us, he is the Savior who chose to die for us. But I see SOME similarities...

He was facing death...we are facing death. He was looking it square in the eyes. I am watching it every day in my husband's eyes.

Jesus cried, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Dave and I have the same prayer. We still pray, and many are still praying for healing. But we also willingly submit to what God has planned and trust his hand in this time for us. Dave has said, "He is still praying for healing, but heaven is a whole lot more appealing!" Sometime God heals our earthly bodies and sometimes he heals permanently and we get our eternal bodies. We are trusting God's plan for us. Cancer is a bitter cup, God could remove it, but if he doesn't we trust him! And I will continue to say, "God is Good, All the time, No matter what!!"

Jesus died. He chose to die. He died FOR me! Because he CHOSE to die for us, Dave KNOWS when he breathes his last breath, he will see the face of his Savior!! And someday, I will see him again! 3 days after Jesus said, "It is Finished", he ROSE! He defeated death for all of humanity! Truthfully, Dave's resurrection occurs as soon as he leaves this earth! Death hasn't won at all! Satan is forever defeated in his life! Redemption has been completed! And I pray and hope, I can stand by his bed and rejoice FOR him! 

Yes, it is Easter weekend!

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